let's do it all again

hello. i'm Alex.
Who I Follow


De Anza College, Cupertino. 


I went to school here. For three years. I flunked most of my classes. I spent a lot of time in the cafeteria listening to stand-up comedy, and eating chicken nuggets. There was also an Unamas! in the cafeteria. I would get to campus at 10 or 11am, and skip four classes in a row renewing my internet card and surfing message boards. And then go home and tell my mom I had a good day at school. I wasted a lot of her money, and mine, on textbooks. I knew I wasting my time, and her time, and everyone’s time. I took two buses home; the 23 and the 26. Waiting for the 26 in the rain after a day of doing nothing is a prominent memory for me. In theory, I knew there were better uses of my time - but bettering yourself was for people who were worth something. I was just a lazy piece of shit that still lived at home. I didn’t have the guts to do anything about it, and it was much easier to insulate myself in my depression. As long as I could predict failure, I could predict the future. 

My story has nothing to do with the photo. I make things about myself a lot. A lot. It’s nice to see something from home. 

(via mosteverythingisterrible)

44 plays
Mai Tai Segull

Every restaurant/coffee shop owner I’ve ever worked under has said the phrase “it doesn’t go bad.” Coffee shop, taqueria, burger joint. Always in reference to something that absolutely goes bad.

At least one coworker has said the word faggot, in some cases managers, at every food service job I’ve ever had.

The cashier wants to do the easy thing too; if they could they would. If you’re frustrated with a weird payment rule, it’s because the cashier has been told to do it that way. The cashier handles outrage over this dumb policy everyday. They would change it to the one that makes sense in a heartbeat.

Rude customers generally either don’t know they are being rude, or don’t consider what they’re doing rude. So you don’t really know if you’re a rude customer or not. If you look down on food service as an occupation, you are undoubtedly a rude customer. Otherwise, you don’t know. It doesn’t hurt to be extra nice just in case.

18 plays
The Smiths,
Hatful of Hollow

My roommate’s pop band is practicing Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye. It feels wrong. This song shouldn’t be rehearsed, it should just happen. No band has ever “rehearsed” this song, they have just suddenly been playing it perfectly. There are no chords, only the ghostly influence of loving sexual urges moving your hands for you. When your band is made to play this song by the overwhelming force of the universe, you all are now wearing matching sequins blazers. Your mind is not concerned with tempo or key change, only respectful declarations of love and affection towards the one you love; consent, passion, admiration, humanity. 

So don’t fucking practice this song. 

(via hctrrr)



UCB Sunset | 10.03.14

Coming Soon…


So rad


My junior year of highschool through my sophmore year in college, I posted on the FYAD message board.

FYAD stood for Fuck You and Die. It was a message board that aggressively rejected new people and demanded people be funny in a very specific, so stupid it was actually smart way. To get in…

This is great. I posted on the Animal Collective message board from my junior year of high school till moving to NYC in 2011. There was a similar contribution based hierarchy. I also strived to be a reliable regular, and envied the community favorites. I also used it to live out comedy dreams I was afraid of actually pursuing at the time. It’s nice to see other people did shit like this too. 

44 plays

Here’s a teaser from a project I’m excited about! I cut out the take where the bass amp almost killed one of us. 


"Food is the best part of cartoons"
- heynowwaitaminutebaby

cc: caseymeeks

Perfect example

yo someone gif “primadonnn nas”

Wow, thank you for saying nice things about that song. That feels really encouraging and good. Thank you!

144 plays


One of my coworkers greets every single female customer as “Ms. Pretty.” Without fail, if he is on register and there is a line of 10-20 people, every single woman will be greeted as Ms. Pretty. Additionally, he never waits for the last woman to be out of earshot to begin the next transaction. So very often a woman will be very surprised and sometimes flattered to be greeted as Ms. Pretty, only to hear the woman behind them greeted in the exact same way. He does not even wait for them to leave the counter or receive their order. I will often see this sequence of events about to happen, and cannot help but stand and watch. The laugh of surprise, the order given with a smile, the change received, and then the face of realization. 

His voice is a little effeminate, and the phrase comes off more as a pleasantry than a cat call. Often, the robotic compliment will not hit. Not every woman likes their value to be judged by their appearance, and many especially don’t give a shit what strangers have to say about their looks. They clearly do not like it. My coworker is not phased by this, and doesn’t even seem to notice. 

The more I work with him, I will watch his behavior to try and assess how aware of the world and his surroundings he is. He often seems on his own planet. He forgot my name one day and I told him it was Stephen. He calls me Stephen now, and I never correct him. Managers will call me Alex within earshot, and I will respond. He has never caught on.

I cannot help but obsess over people like this; I am so constantly aware of everything I do and so worried that I am socially fucking up all the time. When I meet someone who seems so oblivious, it is like I can’t turn away. It is fascinating. 

"Hi there Ms. Pretty what can I get you?" 

"Of course you can. That’ll be.."

"Thank you, you enjoy your day Ms. Pretty…Hi there Ms. Pretty what can I get you?" 

It is insane. 


New York Improv practice spaces as band T-shirts